keywords = Winnie Pooh Tigger Eeyore Kanga Roo Piglet Milne Christopher Robin
S. Berliner, III's POOH Page Updated (and restored):  06 Aug 2019; 14:20 ET
    [original AT&T Worldnet Website begun 30 May 1996.]
[Ref:  This is pooh.html  (URL:  http://sbiii.com/pooh.html)]

S. Berliner, III's

POOH Page

Consultant in Ultrasonic Processing
"changing materials with high-intensity sound"
Technical and Historical Writer, Oral Historian
Popularizer of Science and Technology
Rail, Auto, Air, Ordnance, and Model Enthusiast
Light-weight Linguist, Lay Minister, and Putative Philosopher


Oh, POOH!

note-rt This matter has long since been resolved in favor of New York City; curses, foiled again!
I've left the material here just for fun. - SB,III

Since the original purpose of putting up this page has been thwarted, I'm putting newer material up front; you can jump directly to the old material by clicking here: DURANCE VILE!


Hippy hoppy birthitudday, Pooh!

Oct 2001 - Per the Washington POST, "This fall, Winnie the Pooh, a toy bear that inspired sales of more than 50 million books in the 20th century, turns 75"!  Amazon.com has a page entitled "Now We Are 75 - A brief history of Winnie-the-Pooh".  In a nutshell, Christopher Milne was given a stuffed bear at the age of one, which he called Edward Bear; on seeing a real black bear from Winnipeg (thus "Winnie") in the London Zoo, he changed its name and added "Pooh", the name of a swan mentioned in "When We Were Very Young", his father's (A. A. Milne's) first children's book.


Here's a nice little graphic and poem that a cousin sent me 29 Mar 2000:

Hugs from Pooh Bear

             __
            /  \      .--.>
          |    |--._/    |
         .'\   /   . ''._/
        /           :   \
       /             :   )
      ;          .-.   .-._()
      |                 '-.
      |            ,    (__)
      \           /|     .')
    \'-)           ; \  .' /
     '\-.   '-._   '-" .' /
      )  _      ''-....' .'-.
     /'   '.           <    '.
   /       '     --'   '.    \
  |         ; .--=       \_.-'\
  |_.-----._;             '-.  \
  /|        |        ___...--;  \
 ; |        \__..-"      \-'   \
 :   \        \              |     |
:    \        \             |     /
:     \        ;            /'---'
 \     '.      /           /
   \    . '----' .       .-'
   '. /          \__..-' |
      '|           |      /
       |           /     /
       |          /   .'__
       |       _.'     '  '.
       \        '"-._______/
        '._ /____.-'
           '-.____.'

YOU HAVE JUST BEEN HUGGED!

There's something in a simple hug
That always warms the heart;
It welcomes us back home
And makes it easier to part.
A hug is a way to share the joy
And sad times we go through,
Or just a way for friends to say
They like you 'cause you're you.
Hugs are meant for anyone
For whom we really care,
From your grandma to your neighbor,
Or a cuddly teddy bear.
A hug is an amazing thing --
It's just the perfect way
To show the love we're feeling
But can't find the words to say.
It's funny how a little hug
Makes everyone feel good;
In every place and language,
It's always understood.
And hugs don't need new equipment,
Special batteries or parts -
Just open up your arms
And open up your hearts.

Pass this hug on to someone who needs a hug today.


{Original text of this page follows:}

WARNING!

The real Pooh bear and his friends Tigger, Kanga, Eeyore, and Piglet are being held captive in New York City!  Arise, ye champions of stuffed animals everywhere and secure their release and return to the sceptered isle!

Roo is nowhere to be found!

To help effect the former glorious end, I have drafted and forwarded as noted below the following:


DECLARATION
of
CONSCIENCE

WHEREAS, the stuffed animals known the world over as POOH, TIGGER, KANGA, EEYORE, and PIGLET, formerly the property of the renowned author, A. A. Milne, and having been freely given by said worthy to his son, Christopher Robin Milne, in the years one thousand nine-hundred and twenty to one thousand nine-hundred and twenty two, and, further, having been brought to these shores in the year one thousand nine-hundred and forty seven for purely commercial purposes, are free and independent residents of the United Kingdom of England, Scotland, Wales, and Northern Ireland, and

WHEREAS, these said stuffed animals, POOH, TIGGER, KANGA, EEYORE, and PIGLET, having never been heard by any person to have expressed any desire to be retained captive in the great City of New York (or to have expressed any opinion whatsoever other than "Oh, Bother"), and

WHEREAS, these said animals, POOH, TIGGER, KANGA, EEYORE, and PIGLET, have been unconscionably and forcibly detained in United States of America since the year one thousand nine-hundred and forty seven and further have been forcibly detained in the great City of New York since the year one thousand nine-hundred and eighty six and further have been unjustly imprisoned in said City since the year one thousand nine-hundred and eighty seven and further forced to endure the indignity of public display whilst so imprisoned, such imprisonment and display having been forced upon them without due process of law, and

WHEREAS, these said animals, POOH, TIGGER, KANGA, EEYORE, and PIGLET, have been seen publicly to be manhandled by His Honor, the eminent Mayor of the City of New York, for political purposes, and

WHEREAS, these said POOH, TIGGER, KANGA, EEYORE, and PIGLET, have been offered Green Card status by the New York District Director of the United States Immigration and Naturalization Service without ever having requested same, which act is a presumptive and coercive act, and

WHEREAS, the people of the great nation of the United Kingdom have petitioned and desired that these said POOH, TIGGER, KANGA, EEYORE, and PIGLET be allowed to return to their native land, and further

WHEREAS, the precedent for such return has long since been set by the voluntary return by the United States of America of the Koruna and other regalia of Szent István to the people of the great nation of Hungary, and, lastly,

WHEREAS, the people of the great nation of the United Kingdom have previously shown their good will, spirit, and nature by returning to the people of the United States of America the original flying machine of the Wright Brothers for display in our National Museum,

LET IT BE HEREBY DECLARED AND RESOLVED, that

FIRSTLY, the Director of Amnesty International declare that these said stuffed animals, POOH, TIGGER, KANGA, EEYORE, and PIGLET, are political prisoners held in captivity unjustly and against their will and further that they are innocent of any crimes against the laws and citizens of the great City of New York or against the laws and citizens of the great State of New York or against the laws and citizens of the United States of America, and

SECONDLY, the offer of Green Card status by the New York District Director of the United States Immigration and Naturalization Service be withdrawn forthwith, such act being a presumptive and coercive act, and

THIRDLY, the Directors of the Public Library of the great City of New York, and the public officials of that said City, be directed to release the said animals, POOH, TIGGER, KANGA, EEYORE, and PIGLET, into the custody of the appropriate officials of the Consulate of the United Kingdom, and

FOURTHLY, these said animals, POOH, TIGGER, KANGA, EEYORE, and PIGLET, are of right residents of said United Kingdom and should be returned to their native land, and

FIFTHLY, certain rigid provisos shall be attached to this declaration and that these declarations and resolutions and provisos shall be scrupulously adhered to in order to keep this dispute from disrupting the peace and endangering the environment and the health and welfare of the United Kingdom and the United States and even the entire world, and that

THESE PROVISOS ARE:

PROVISO the FIRST, that the Government and the people of the United Kingdom shall devise and provide at their own expense to the Government and the people of the United States of America exact replicas of these said animals, POOH, TIGGER, KANGA, EEYORE, and PIGLET, and that these said replicas shall be devised and provided in duplicate, and

PROVISO the SECOND, that the Government and the people of the United Kingdom shall devise and provide at their own expense to the Government and the people of the United States of America an exact replica of a missing sixth stuffed animal, known the world over as ROO, and that the replica shall be devised and provided in appropriate proportion to the other animals described herein (i.e.: it shall fit in the pouch of KANGA) and in duplicate, and

PROVISO the THIRD, that the Government and the people of the United Kingdom shall undertake to display the original animals in their National Museum or their new National Library in the great City of London in a manner and under security no less open and safe than that employed by the Public Library of the City of New York, and

PROVISO the FOURTH, that the Government and the people of the United States and of the great State of New York and of the great City of New York shall undertake to display one set of the replicated animals in their National Museum in the great City of Washington in the District of Columbia and one set in the Public Library of the said great City of New York in a manner and under security no less open and safe than that employed by the said Public Library for the display of the original stuffed animals, and, furthermore,

PROVISO the FIFTH, that this replication and repatriation be accomplished in ample time for the exchange and display in their new locations as stipulated herein on or before the fourth day of July in the year two thousand of the original and replicated stuffed animals known the world over as POOH, TIGGER, KANGA, EEYORE, and PIGLET, and ROO, for the edification and delight of children and adults in both countries and any visitors thereto.

Copies of this DECLARATION shall be sent forthwith to Queen Elizabeth II and the Prime Minister of the United Kingdom, to the President of the United States of America, to the Governor of the State of New York, to the Mayor of the City of New York, to the Chairman of the Board of Directors of the Public Library of the City of New York, to the New York District Director of the United States Immigration and Naturalization Service, to the Director of Amnesty International, and to the Editors of The TIMES and SUNDAY TIMES of London and The NEW YORK TIMES and NEWSDAY.

Given this eighth day of the year one thousand nine hundred and ninety eight,
in witness whereof I have hereunto set my hand:

______________________________________
(s) S. Berliner, III
Protector of the Rights of Stuffed Animals


SAMPLE OF TYPICAL CUSTOMIZED LETTER OF TRANSMITTAL

08 February 1998

Queen Elizabeth II
Buckingham Palace
London, England
UNITED KINGDOM

Madam:

In the matter of the improper detention in New York City of your loyal subjects, one POOH bear and his compatriots, TIGGER, KANGA, EEYORE, and PIGLET, I sincerely request your personal intervention into what threatens to become a major international imbroglio.

Although Pooh has been known to live under an assumed name in England, it was clearly not for any purpose to defraud or deceive and there is no outstanding warrant against him of which I am aware.  In addition, I must assume that any applicable statute of limitation must have long since run its course.

Therefore, there should be no impediment in the United Kingdom to the return of said Pooh bear to his native soil, together with his companions.

To effect this end and to quiet the voiced fears and apprehensions and angry opposition of your former colonists, I have prepared what I term a DECLARATION of CONSCIENCE, a copy of which is enclosed for your perusal and, hopefully, support.

I sincerely trust, dear Madam, that this weighty matter will divert your mind somewhat from the awful problems which have so cruelly beset you of late.

Very truly yours,

S. Berliner, III

encl.

SAMPLE OF TYPICAL CUSTOMIZED LETTER OF TRANSMITTAL

Similar, appropriately-customized letters were sent as well to:  the Prime Minister of the United Kingdom, to the President of the United States of America, to the Governor of the State of New York, to the Mayor of the City of New York, to the Chairman of the Board of Directors of the Public Library of the City of New York, to the New York District Director of the United States Immigration and Naturalization Service, to the Director of Amnesty International, and to the Editors of The TIMES and SUNDAY TIMES of London and The NEW YORK TIMES and NEWSDAY.


RESPONSES

All is Lost!!!

A Special Assistant to the Private Secretary to the Queen sent a lovely and gracious response stating that Pooh and his friends "are currently the property of the United States of America" (which I question, but will not pursue) and that Her Majesty "is sure that Pooh" et al "will be enjoying their stay in the Public Library of the City of New York and will have a philosophical outlook on the situation".

The Special Assistant further indicates that the Queen thinks that " 'When you are a Bear of Very Little Brain, and you Think of Things, you find sometimes that a Thing which seemed very Thingish inside you is quite different when it gets out into the open and has other people looking at it' " and that "Pooh is probably at this very moment planning 'An Expotition to the North Pole' ".

Isn't it nice to find a public official with a Brain, learned and witty!  When such an Expotition is organised, however, I hope to make an Expotitious Enquiry into engaging myself with the Expotition.

A certain American Governor's staff seems to have taken the Declaration seriously, although dismissing it, whilst a certain human rights champion indicated one might have better fish to fry.

A certain municipal Mayor's office thought (quite understandably) that Pooh and friends were just fine where they are.

What fun!


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S. Berliner, III

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